What’s the difference between Charity that eats ice cream and the Charity that doesn’t?
That question was asked by my counselor today when I was telling her about my recent difficulty with the amount of sweets I’ve been eating.
We were discussing perfectionism and how it affects tasks or obstacles we face.
For me, I find the snowball effect happens. Maybe I’ll do well for a while, staying away from sweets, but eventually I eat something I would categorize as “not great” and one night turns into two, which turns into three, and I find myself feeling like throwing in the towel.
I’ve failed
I’ve gotten off track. I’ve given in to the temptation and I find it hard to forgive myself and keep moving forward.
When she asked me what the difference was, I thought about it and I knew. I know what I’m aiming for. I know what the “ideal” version of me looks like. I can picture her right now.
It was me 3 years ago.
It was after my divorce.
It was when I was focused on rebuilding ME.
It was when I had structure and routine in my life from my job and had a set time( my lunch break) to exercise every day.
I was committed to becoming everything I could NOT be in the last 15 years of my life.
My life is different now.
I’m home every day. I have a toddler. I’m safe. I’m happy. I’m loved.
I’m not fighting to become ME anymore.
And that’s a pretty damn good place to be.
Do I still have health and fitness goals? Yes.
But I can have those goals, work towards those goals and not punish myself for having an icecream with my family.
Maybe, just maybe, I’m figuring out my OWN version of what the best me looks like TODAY.
