This sure ruffled some feathers…

I was running into a mental roadblock with one of my goals- my big goal to build my business and reach more people, women just like me.

I’ve been nervous to talk about some of the hard stuff on my page, the stuff that really ruffles feathers. If you’ve experienced trauma in a relationship, it’s hard to talk about. For me, it’s hard to admit that I ever let anyone treat me that way. In hindsight, I never LET them treat me that way. I fought back and did the best I knew how to gain control over the situation.

As far as sharing some of the hard stuff, I try and keep it uplifting, but still share some of the struggle. I’m not a confrontational person. I stay away from sharing things that might cause backlash or encourage an arguement.

In an effort to grow, I tried something different

Something completely out of my comfort zone. I posted something controversial. I held my breath when I hit post on this specific reel.

The first sentence of the reel was “Why did I Ieave when my husband was struggling?”

For those of you that have been in my shoes know exactly why I left. His struggle was not just his struggle. His struggle spilled out into the world around him, and affected things like work, family life and our marriage.

Now, I get it. It’s a 30 second reel. Many that watch it have no context, history or knowledge of anything besides the VERY simple post. I left off with “sometimes you have to save yourself”. In my case that was very true. Initially, it went well with a lot of response from women who understood and supported.

But it turned-

with over thousands of views, over hundreds of likes( which I hope are the people I’m trying to reach), and thousands of comments. I fielded comments, nasty ones, about me being a piece of garbage, a fair weather woman, a liar, someone not willing to stick through the tough times, and honor my vows.

Now, for those of you who know me, know better. For those who may not know me so well, here’s a small truth- I am not one to give up easily. And for those of you who really know me, that’s a bit of an understatement( my friends and family members are rolling their eyes and laughing).

You can bet I put everything I had into making it work

But that’s neither here nor there. I am not here to explain myself, my reason, my choices or describe in detail my reasons for leaving. Because it’s my journey. I share what I am comfortable sharing, and hope to connect with those that need the support.

I remind myself, I am here for the hundreds of people that understood. The hundreds of people that see the forest for the trees, the people that have experienced trauma and abuse. People that have been there or people that need to hear it is okay to keep yourself safe, and get out if you have to.

I was having a hard time

A hard time thinking about all of those people judging without the whole picture. Sadness. Fear. And surely that happens in real life. Marriages fall apart and the only people that truly know what led to the end is the two people in that marriage.

But, I am absolutely NOT going to spill my entire catalogue of trauma to explain myself. I am not here to change people’s minds about the reasons women leave their husbands. I am not here to prove my choice was right for me.

I am here to share my story and inspire others

There IS hope for a better life. One you can fill with happiness, love, compassion, understanding, growth, healing and so much more. You can’t control the things that happen to you, but you can control how you respond.

Distance yourself from the people that drain your energy, the people that blow out your flame, the people that cannot see the world beyond their own perception.

This is a lesson that those people are not my people. Those are not the people I want to surround myself with. I get to choose.